Patriarch Sean
Sean Blanckaert (Blue Guard Lorgar), is the patriarch of the Blue cult, and the one who first noticed the divinity of Bluemin. In the Blue Cult he is seen as one of the apostles and writer of The Esoteric Bible of Bluemin (Lectatio Divinitato Caerulii). He regards all his believers as equals, since only the Bluemin in all his wisdom can divide, and leads the Blue cult by example. He was born Sean J Blanckaert (which is fucking odd since his first names are both basically Ioannes), to a family of Isaurians (who raised him to be particularly evil). He would grow up as a pretty normal chill dude, only slightly insane. But as a young boy he would have dreams of the colour Blue and hot barely clothed European girls. These dreams would come to him quite often. Thus he decided to find out the truth behind the visions. On the way he also studied history… cuz fuck it amirite? To make a long story short he went on a spacetrip with the Byzantine Vessel “The Pride of Constantine”. The vessel however was attacked by the Space Venetians, this disaster meant that he crashed upon the Planet Belgium. He made contact and showed them the truth of the Bluegod. The Belgians accepted his gospel after a civil war that lasted “kweni een uurke ofzo, daarna had ik honger”. And because the remaining population really loved the memes he brought them, they built him a spaceship called “the Hammer of Bluemin” to return to his own planet earth. After a long trip home, Sean arrived in Constantinople. However it had been too late and had been renamed Istanbul (I mean what kind of retarded name is Istanbul). In his dismay he fled the city and let out an autistic screech that lasted years. Legend has it that the impact of his inhuman screech caused the great African rift. After years of soul searching, he finally found the prophet and has joined his forces. Sean’s religious career has been coloured by Blue. Involving the posting of memes, girlo’s and edited Bluemin pics. He has devoted much time to give the public: the sermons and spicy girlo’s they so desire. EARLY LIFE Sean had visions of Salty Bulgarians, hot grills and the colour blue. He was born to a family of Isaurians, who bullied him for being different. However one day his brothers were bullying him when he saw a cabbage in the distance. He blessed the cabbage and a bolt of Pure Blue lightning struck his brothers. Leaving only their memedust. Which he spread out on the table, gathered with a creditcard and snorted like a champ. This gave him visions of the coming of a Blue Being who would both be man and god, and had a sweet-ass Byzantine sweater. Being sure of his faith more than ever he penned down the Blue Bible and went to Constantinople. There he gave Basil II the bible. Basil being really pleased with the book gave Sean a damn spaceship, this is like totally the truth by the way. Sean said: “use this amazing book on those fucking cavedwelling Bulgarians” Basil responded: “aight fam, wut it gon do” as he lit the kush. Sean said: “you ever seen that Raiders of the Lost Ark movie” “Yo that shit wack as fuck man” screamed Basil Sean took the spaceship, deciding that he would teach the secrets of Bluemin to the merry people of the universe. But he had not foreseen that the Venetian fishpeople were following him. They shot him down with their Dandalobeams. The Seawall shields of the ship would not hold. And a huge fire erupted and engulfed many of the Bluemissionaries sent to aid Sean in this work. The ship crashed on the Planet Belgium. A bilingual planet, actually trilingual which was inhabited by 3 warring races. The Flemish, which were the assholes who work hard. The Walloons, the nice folks who don’t work at all and the Congolese (a race of humanoids with a distinct lack of hands). To his dismay the planet Belgium was a place of confusion. The Belgians had a knack for creating the most intricate system of none functioning government to have ever existed.. He appeared before the king of the Belgians Filip I Moronicus, who had three heads. And said “lmao accept Bluemin ya git”. Filip refused as all heads spoke the refusal in different languages German, French and Dutch. Sean was not amused by his heretical refusal, and beat him to death with Bluemace, a mace that fired lightning and memes. Filip could not stand against this weapon of primordial Blueminian might and soon perished. The Flemish were happy as they hate the king. But the Walloons were very angry and sent the muslims to blow up Brussels airport. Which started the Belgian Civil War which lasted “een uurke ofzo”. The war was easily won by the Flemish as they used the power of hard work and “verkeersbelastingen die de walen is ni stelen” to destroy the Walloons at Waterloo. The Walloon army didn’t have any money for fries and waffles left so surrendered. The Blue cult became the dominant religion. And the Flemish built Sean a Spaceship. Which he used to return to earth. However on his way home he flew into a dimension of pure salty memetic chaos. Where he met with Bluemin who gave him a vision of the Fall of Constantinople, which was not dank. Sean arrived too late. THE WANDERING YEARS He spent years wandering, screeching autistically. Wandering the deserts and seeking salvation. After a while he stood on Mount high Hrothgar, and met with Bluemurnax, the ancient Blue Dragon. Who said that the prophet would come, and that Sean had to prepare the realm of Belgium. Hearing the words of Bluemurnax he travelled to Belgium. Fleeing from Mehmeduin the evil dragon. There he taught the ways of Bluemin many years. Praising the Byzantines at any turn, when suddenly one day he saw a blue light at the sky. And opened his laptop to boot facebook. However, the Bulgarians had also been told and attacked with their saltclubs. The people of Planet Belgium resisted fiercely, except for the Walloons, who didn’t do shit, but the Bulgarians reached Sean. However it was too late and Ivan had already sent a friendrequest. The blue light from the laptop was so damn strong and full with memetic powers, that it broke the device and sent the Bulgarians back to earth. Back to Zucc their evil overlord. FRATERNITY He also joined a fraternity for shits and giggles, did land him on a stage naked. He regards his Fraternity hat as a holy relic and declared it to be part of his battlegear. THE PRESENT Sean can be found arguing with fellow Blue Guard, shitposting and triggering folks. He dated a Belgian girl but she was damn evil and dumped his ass. Also known as “that one girl that still says she loves you when she drunk as fuck”, but I digress. He can be seen posting hot girlo’s and praying to the Bluemin. He can also be found looking at facebook, being part of a Fraternity, screeching, watching Warhammer lore videos, and other shit that has no real use. Bluemin’s will be done, his empire come. Bl’amen.